November 24, 2018
Dear friend,
I am writing to you because she said you listen and understand and didn't try to sleep with that person at that party even though you could have, and also I just finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Yes, I just quoted that book. I'm sorry for confusing you, but seriously, you have to read that book because it is so amazing that it inspired me to write again. It's thanksgiving and I am thankful for that book. I have finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It is now my favorite book of all time, but then again, I always think that until I read another book. I just quoted that book again haha. You guys really have to read it. I'm not gonna spoil it or anything. All I'm saying is that book will change your perspective towards some things.
Final tests is in two days. Frankly, I am not ready for it at all. I would go get my book to study right now, but I just can't. It terrifies me. I don't really know what I need to be terrified of, but I can't handle it. Same thing happens every time I try to study for Test Center. I don't get why. I do know that I have to do it. I need to get into a good college this year. I can't imagine myself failing at it. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I'm scared. Failure. I still don't know how to overcome it, but I am trying my best to do so. I don't want to push myself too hard, though. I don't want to end up hurting myself again. Oh, by the way, I have been clean for a month now. My scars are gone and I feel better. I want to keep myself as sane as possible. That is my main priority for now, because if I can't keep myself alive, everything else would be pointless.
I have been spending my time to watch sport. Please don't expect me to watch rough sports like football, badminton, karate and all that. It's not exactly my thing. I have been following figure skating. It is a beautiful sport, a perfect combination of athleticism and artistry. My kind of sport. But like, don't expect me to do it, I am no good at it, at all. I've tried. My favorite skater is Yuzuru Hanyu. He is just amazing. I am so in love with him hahaha. I probably gonna talk more about this some other time. Sometimes when he is doing ice shows he would skate to live music. It is my dream to be able to sing for one of his performance. It is a big dream, I know. Go big or go home, right? Let's just hope that it can come true one day. I also wish to be friends with him. He seems like a really great person to be friends with.
I have been daydreaming a lot lately. It has been a different kind of daydream. I think of things like how come Odile never left his father for the horrible things that he did, Cosette never felt sorry for 'stealing' Marius from Eponine, and Christine didn't even try to tell everyone that Phantom was only becoming a demon because of them. You see, I can't really talk about these things with anyone at school. These things are not in our school curriculum, so why even bother finding out about it? That is what people at my school probably think. The fact that I care about these things makes them see me as a weird kid. Honestly, the word "weird" doesn't even bother me anymore. There were times where I would cry when people call me weird and then I'll give everything to fit in. Well, I'll tell you that it is no use. It is cool to be weird, or as I like to put it, one of a kind. It sure does makes you feel special.
I should probably finish this letter and get some sleep. I will try my best to write more. Thank you for listening.
Yours truly,
Ra
I am writing to you because she said you listen and understand and didn't try to sleep with that person at that party even though you could have, and also I just finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Yes, I just quoted that book. I'm sorry for confusing you, but seriously, you have to read that book because it is so amazing that it inspired me to write again. It's thanksgiving and I am thankful for that book. I have finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It is now my favorite book of all time, but then again, I always think that until I read another book. I just quoted that book again haha. You guys really have to read it. I'm not gonna spoil it or anything. All I'm saying is that book will change your perspective towards some things.
Final tests is in two days. Frankly, I am not ready for it at all. I would go get my book to study right now, but I just can't. It terrifies me. I don't really know what I need to be terrified of, but I can't handle it. Same thing happens every time I try to study for Test Center. I don't get why. I do know that I have to do it. I need to get into a good college this year. I can't imagine myself failing at it. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I'm scared. Failure. I still don't know how to overcome it, but I am trying my best to do so. I don't want to push myself too hard, though. I don't want to end up hurting myself again. Oh, by the way, I have been clean for a month now. My scars are gone and I feel better. I want to keep myself as sane as possible. That is my main priority for now, because if I can't keep myself alive, everything else would be pointless.
I have been spending my time to watch sport. Please don't expect me to watch rough sports like football, badminton, karate and all that. It's not exactly my thing. I have been following figure skating. It is a beautiful sport, a perfect combination of athleticism and artistry. My kind of sport. But like, don't expect me to do it, I am no good at it, at all. I've tried. My favorite skater is Yuzuru Hanyu. He is just amazing. I am so in love with him hahaha. I probably gonna talk more about this some other time. Sometimes when he is doing ice shows he would skate to live music. It is my dream to be able to sing for one of his performance. It is a big dream, I know. Go big or go home, right? Let's just hope that it can come true one day. I also wish to be friends with him. He seems like a really great person to be friends with.
I have been daydreaming a lot lately. It has been a different kind of daydream. I think of things like how come Odile never left his father for the horrible things that he did, Cosette never felt sorry for 'stealing' Marius from Eponine, and Christine didn't even try to tell everyone that Phantom was only becoming a demon because of them. You see, I can't really talk about these things with anyone at school. These things are not in our school curriculum, so why even bother finding out about it? That is what people at my school probably think. The fact that I care about these things makes them see me as a weird kid. Honestly, the word "weird" doesn't even bother me anymore. There were times where I would cry when people call me weird and then I'll give everything to fit in. Well, I'll tell you that it is no use. It is cool to be weird, or as I like to put it, one of a kind. It sure does makes you feel special.
I should probably finish this letter and get some sleep. I will try my best to write more. Thank you for listening.
Yours truly,
Ra